How do you really know?

Throughout life you encounter all walks of life, all types of emotions, risk taking, opportunity, and many experiences. What you do with all of that is up to you and only you.  Throughout this new journey I’ve begun in my life, I’ve met some really awesome people. My friends have reached out, and been amazing. I’m truly a lucky woman. I’ve also started something with a boy (ok, not a boy.. a man but you get the point).

This is new to me. After being with one person for five years (I know, it’s not that long.. but to me, it was), it’s really hard to let a new guy in. No matter how much I want to, there is a fear inside me that doesn’t quite know what to do with itself. Allowing people in your life is always a risk. You risk losing someone you grow to love, you risk that person causing you to be someone you’re not, and then sometimes…. you risk everything. But in some cases, you put it all on the line and say “what the heck..” Then, usually — comes regret. Because lets be honest ladies- there aren’t too many real men out there.. just when you think you snatched one- they completely prove to you otherwise.

Does that mean we should live in fear? Keep our walls built tall and strong? Act like you’re not interested when you know you are completely falling deep into something?

The answer? I guess it depends on the person. For me? No, I refuse to live in fear, my walls can be torn down with the right chisel and hammer, and I’ll be damned if I act like I’m not interested.

I don’t know where life is going to take me or who I will end up with at the end of it all– what I do know, is that I just want to be happy and share my life with someone who adores me, values me, is faithful to me, needs me at times, misses me even though they saw me that day, and most of all– appreciates me. Nothing else matters.

So for now, I’ll be the strong, independent, smiling Lauren everyone knows.

oh— and with that cute boy by my side through it all 🙂



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